


Five Things Chekov Claims the Russians Invented, and One They Actually Did

by SorchaR



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pavel's patriotism is a little out of control, five things fic, he knows because of his learnings, pavel is a raver born in the wrong century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-29 14:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorchaR/pseuds/SorchaR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you believe Chekov, the Russians invented everything. Rated T and underage just for brief mention of Chekov/Sulu sexings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Chekov Claims the Russians Invented, and One They Actually Did

5\. _Electricity_. They're lying in bed after having exhausted each other with the ElectroStim sex toy Kirk got Sulu for his birthday, when Pavel lifts his head from Sulu's chest. "Electricity was Russian invention, you know."

"What? That's ridiculous. Nobody invented electricity, Pasha. Unless you believe in gods, maybe."

Pavel pouts. "You know what I mean. Russians were first to harness power of electricity. There was a man in sixteenth century, Vasilii Gregorivi-"

Sulu just rolls his eyes and pulls Pavel into a kiss to shut him up.

  
4\. _Bread_. "Bread and salt are traditional gifts of welcome," Pavel explains as he offers Winona Kirk some of each when she beams aboard. "Russians invented bread."

Winona casts a confused glance at Kirk, who just shrugs. "It makes him happy. We just don't let him teach any history classes."

  
3\. _Coca-Cola_. Bones, to his credit, does not actually hit Pavel when he claims that Coke was created, not in the doctor's Georgia, but in Pavel's. He does, however, dump his rum and Coke over Pavel's head and storm out before he does something that will land him in the brig.

  
2\. _Chocolate._ In Pavel's version of history, the Russians reached South America first and brought chocolate back to Europe.

The general consensus is that Pavel's version of history needs to share whatever it's been smoking with the rest of the crew.

  
1\. _Feminine hygiene products._ Nobody's quite sure how the subject even comes up, but the result is that Pavel is not allowed to talk at the table again until he understands what subjects constitute proper mealtime conversation.

  
0\. _Drum machines._ Pavel loves the techno music of the late 20th and early 21st centuries. He loves to turn it up loud in his quarters and channel his restless energy into bouncing around the room. He loves the deep, throbbing beat of it, that sings through his veins and settles, more often than not, into a pool of heat in the base of his belly. And when that happens, and Hikaru is there, he silently blesses the inventor of the drum machine.

He has no idea that he owes his thanks to Leon Theremin, born Lev Sergeyevich Termin in 1896, in the city of St. Petersburg.

<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhythmicon>


End file.
